I have often wished that my mind acted like many geeks' that I have met and worked with in the past, that when it grabbed a problem it would not let it go until I had figured it out. I used to think that that was some kind of character flaw or something--not quite, but it bothered me and I never did figure out why.

I just recently realized that it's not a character flaw--I just get distracted and forget about the problem, or I get bored if I don't figure it out right away and go on to something else (whether or not I intend to).

I want to change this but I don't know how. It seems like one of those things I'm always going to be fighting against.

Well. I DID feel better about it when I realized it was distractibility, but that's bad too.

I just wish I could hold on to something. I wish I had a consistent passion. I'm getting more and more concerned that I'm going to wake up one morning in about 20 years and realize that I have completely lost my passion and have to find a new field because physics just isn't interesting anymore--that I've moved on, whether I like it or not.

Try as I might, I don't choose what I concentrate on. Nothing I do seems to work. I spend hours and hours "doing" homework--sitting in front of it and overlining my writing, occasionally writing something new. Off in my head somewhere analysing something else. Is physics not interesting enough? Is it too broad, does it take too long to get to the point where I'm trying to figure out a problem that nobody has the answer to?

Can I do this?

Do I have a choice?